Indonesia!

What is outreach? What is it supposed to look like? I'm not sure to tell you the truth. I entered DTS with a pre-thought of what it's supposed to look like, and now that it's not what I first expected I am finding myself frustrated. I wish that I never had made any pre-ideas of how or what outreach is supposed to look like, since no one can really know until it happens. 

As far as Indonesia, I LOVE the country, the people are beautiful, the city is nice, the food is yummy and i am traveling with 3 other amazing YWAMers. I am lucky to say I haven't really experienced any sickness due to travel yet, the worst I got was a heat rash and a full tummy from eating too much good food!  We are lucky to be staying at a YWAM base in Surabaya, and the staff members from the base are just awesome! So funny and so friendly, so it makes it even more enjoyable. Food is good, we eat a lot of rice...but when I say a lot, I mean A LOT...like breakfast, lunch & dinner A LOT! We even had spaghetti one night and all the indonesians ate rice with it! HA what a sight!  Okay wow, it's HOT here, like maybe minimum 40 Celsius and humidity on top, ugh its insane! I sweat non-stop! ha sorry if that's too much info for your liking! Indonesia is a very muslim country, so 5 times a day we hear loud speakers go off with arabic prayer calling all the people to the masques to pray (let me mention the first one goes off at 4am....yup lol) so that is something I'm still not used to. It's one of the most erie noises in the world to hear hundreds of chanting and wailing voices going off in the heat of the night. It also hurts my soul...if only they knew the freedom and relationship with our Jesus.

My average week looks something like this:

-Monday= off! woo! shopping, movies, sleeping, biking.

-Tuesday= Smart House (teaching kids english and math)

-Wednesday= Smart House, Soccer ministry and late night cell group

-Thursday= Smart House

-Friday= fasting and praying, youth group

-Saturday= cooking, cleaning and feeding the kids at the slums (same place as smart house), and another youth group

-Sunday= church, and relaxing!

So we get pretty busy, but it's okay. It is tough doing the same thing day in and day out though. At the smart house I teach pre-schoolers their ABC's and they just can't seem to learn them, which is frustrating on both parts, but we still have a month of that, so I hope it improves with work. As far as the youth groups go, we do quite a bit a preaching which is new and very scary for me. I have shared 2 times now but I'm sure there will be more in the future, so it's good practice but its not easy.

I think the coolest thing God has shown me thus far is just that this whole outreach is about loving Him, no matter what that looks like; that it's about following His heart and His path and not going by my own preconceived thoughts of what this would look like. It's about trusting that He knows what's going on and I just need to be patient, obedient and in the word everyday. I think I got caught up in wanting to do and not paying attention to the greatest commandment...and that's to LOVE HIM. So this is the challenge I give myself for the remainder of the trip, is to be joyful everyday in ALL that I do, even if it doesn't look the way I think it should. Another blessing He has given me is 3 little old ladies I visit every weekend; they are a muslim family and they just love me to bits! They wait for me all day and cook me food special for me! They get to practice their english with me and I get to ask about their faith and show them my genuine love for them. I am praying God is using me to make a difference in their life and hopefully open their eyes to the love they can have with my Jesus.

One of the things I struggle with the most here is just the loneliness. I didn't think you could be so lonely in a place with so many people. Surabaya is 3 million people, yet I find myself so alone. I think this is due to language barriers. I'm always surrounded by people, but I can't ask them questions or answer their questions, and it's frustrating. We don't always have a translator on us so we can't always speak to anyone and everyone, which makes sharing the gospel next to impossible. But another factor is that we're not even allowed to share the gospel. Something about the way the base is set up and the title it has, we're told to tell people we're at university and not to tell them we're Christians unless we ask. So I have spent many frustrated nights struggling with God as to why I am even here if I can't spread the good news. And thats where I have come to the conclusion it's about loving and not about telling them necessarily about Jesus. I pray that people will see my difference in just how I live my life and that they would ask me why I am not like your average Jane.

I'm glad God has brought me down this journey. I think I have learned a lot and still have more learning to do. I really hope that when I come home I can share more of my experiences with you. But for now, if you could just keep me in your prayers, I need God to continue to help me with patience and home is around the corner and I am getting anxious to see loved ones, but I need to focus on my life here. Also with sickness, just for safety so we continue not to get sick. Pray for the poor children, that they become educated so they can get good jobs to break the curse of poverty, pray for the muslims who are run by a fear based religion, and pray for my team, that we are just following God's map and not ours.

I love you all and can't wait to be back home.

xoxo. Tamarah